Enriching Conversations
August 24th, 2009 |
Published in
Posts by Sande, Work/Life Tips
by Sande Smith
( Happy Monday! Today’s post is from Sande Smith, our communications expert.)
There’s a phrase that used to resonate with me. Talk is cheap. Or to put it like my grandmom used to say, “you’re just talking to hear your head rattle.”
I didn’t have time for cheap, time-wasting, head-rattling talk, so I preferred not to talk a lot, and I certainly didn’t trust other people who rattled on with the first words that came to their lips.
Give me writing and reading. Writing required thought, review and reflection. If it was written down, the words and ideas could be read, scrutinized and the author held accountable. Yes, indeed, I trusted the written word.
But a couple years ago, I started changing my mind. A colleague asked me to be her mentor. When I questioned her choice, she stunned me with an eloquent explanation of the importance of conversations that were honest and that helped her to rethink her perceptions of what was happening in the workplace.
By asking me questions, she was getting “just-in-time” answers that helped her to reframe her own concept of what was possible. The answers to these questions weren’t written down somewhere . . . they were formed in the course of our curious, reiterative interaction with one another. Together, we were co-creating “just-in-time” knowledge and insights applicable to her particular time and circumstances.
Were all my curmudgeonly thoughts about cheap talk just misplaced? Not entirely. Thought, review and reflection have a big role to play in turning talk from cheap to rich. Soon after we began having these mentoring and mutual learning conversations, I listened to a workshop presented by James Lukaszewski, author of Why Should the Boss Listen to You? The Seven Disciplines of the Trusted Strategic Advisor.
I loved his idea that we consider becoming verbal visionaries. People who can provide valuable counsel, speak the truth with grace and candor, and tell relevant and memorable stories based upon history and the experience of other organizations. Such people can be an inspiration to others.
To prepare, he recommends writing down and speaking ALOUD your answers to a series of questions such as What do I believe? What are the truths of my life? Who am I? What are my personal limitations? What are my principles? What is my daily goal or reason for doing what I do? And what do I want my legacy to be?
Through the process of being a mentor and answering Lukaszewski’s questions, I’ve realized that I can make it a practice to view conversations – whether on the bus, in a café, or in the office – as opportunities for co-creating new ideas of what’s possible. Now that’s rich.