Self Care

From Disease to Discovery: Changing our Stories

October 5th, 2009  |  Published in Creating Change, Posts by Sande, Self Care
by Sande Smith

Prickly Cactus(Happy Monday! Today’s post is from Sande Smith, our communications expert.)

Those of us engaged in social change must ask ourselves, how do we help others see the new world we are trying to create?

It’s easy to get stuck in telling stories of what’s wrong. Yet, while telling stories that show the problem is very important because it helps to wake us up, limiting ourselves to telling those stories won’t get us where we need to be.

That’s why we say, you have to be the change you want to see in the world. . . being the change provides living examples that others can see and then replicate. Even better, be the change and tell the story of how you got there.

I was reminded of the transformative power of being and telling different stories when I saw my dear friend’s new book, Prickly Cactus: Finding Sacred Meaning in Chronic Illness.

I met Concha 9 years ago, when we were taking a writing workshop together. We were both writing non-fiction narratives – mine described my experience with my mother as Alzheimer’s took her memory. Concha’s was called Dancing Still and depicted her battle with systemic lupus erythematosus (SLE).

Here was a woman whose life had been a challenge from the time she and her family emigrated from Mexico. She’d struggled with a new language and culture, battled racism, and worked tirelessly to become an advocate for other immigrant families and children seeking fair and equitable access to education. Plus she was a high-performing professor of anthropology and education. Yet, the disease threatened to take it all away. There were times when she was unable to get out of bed because of the insidious and painful toll that that lupus was taking on her body.

Concha and I would meet and share our writing with one another, pointing out places that didn’t work well in the texts and encouraging each other to keep going. I learned so much from watching Concha as she worked on her book. She refused to give up! She’d submit the book to publishers, and get rejected. She’d consult with other writing professionals, and get advice on how to change it.

She’d rewrite the book, finally rewriting the whole thing at least 3 times, and sections of it many more times. Throughout the process, which took at least 10 years, she continued to transform the pain and discouragement — of the illness and the rejections — until she published Prickly Cactus, a beautiful, life-affirming narrative, this year.

In Prickly Cactus, she describes learning how to turn chronic illness into a doorway for achieving wisdom and building community. She talks about the incredible pain that racked her body, finding a way to create a supportive and respectful medical community, and seeking and finding spiritual guidance. She talks about the challenges of day-to-day living which included redesigning her work habits and life so that she could still earn a living. She describes learning how to rest – for the first time in her life! And she tells a lovely story of dating again, and creating a loving, long-term relationship.

Both the process of watching Concha live the lessons gained as she navigated this journey of chronic illness and reading her book, in its newest form, gives me a sense of joy and hope. Her illness was not just an end, but a beginning.

She says, “We need to speak about illness, about potential for healing, and about building supportive communities around us to transform our lives.” Her narrative of discovery and transformation helps to remove the fear of disease by drawing a map for living with joy, engagement and significance, no matter what.

What is your workable territory?

August 3rd, 2009  |  Published in Self Care, Work/Life Tips
by Lanell Dike

center1

Happy Monday!

I don’t have much to say today beyond the Quote of the Week.

These words from Scott Sanders book, Hunting for Hope have followed me for many years. Cropping up every time I start to feel overwhelmed by my to-do list.

A reminder that my stress is a by-product of an ambitious mind that believes more can (and needs to) be done than my physical body and time capacity allows for and can handle.

I heard someone say recently, “When you say no to something you are saying yes to something else.”

This obvious statement was and is beautifully profound to me. Mostly because I don’t like saying no, especially when what I am saying no to is something I really want to do or for a person or a cause I care about and want to support. Yet with every no, I am saying yes to my workable territory.

What about you? What are you saying no and yes to? What is your workable territory?

Live Your Own Advice

June 22nd, 2009  |  Published in Self Care, Work/Life Tips
by Lanell Dike

takeabreak2

Happy Monday!

Giving advice is always easier than living it for our selves.

We can clearly see what other people need to do to solve their problems but often act shortsightedly when it comes to our own lives.

I’m feeling quiet this week, reflective and in need of time outdoors, away from the computer.

So I’m following my own advice to Take A Break.

Have a good week. Don’t forget to take some breaks. See you next Monday.

What matters is You

April 27th, 2009  |  Published in Self Care
by Lanell Dike

pianotestHappy Monday!

When I was getting ready to start this blog – my dad said to me, “What for? Aren’t there enough blogs already?”

I laughed and replied (defensively, to be honest), “Sure, there are. But that could be said about almost anything. Aren’t there enough people in the world already? Enough cars? Enough books? Enough art?  Enough music? Enough movies?”

And, we could add, enough mission statements and tag lines and articles written about how to raise money for a cause.

How many times do we need to repeat something?

Some of our favorites: “Love your neighbor as yourself” or “Let justice roll down like water” or “All we need is Love.”

And of course we can’t forget the guy we quote endlessly in an automatic fashion for everything, “All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players.”

Yet even as we say, “There’s nothing new under the sun” we keep creating art, stories, music, and babies. We keep thinking, we keep watching, listening, talking, writing and reading, we keep working over and over again the same ideas, the same themes, repeating the same patterns.

Books we used to readI’ve been fascinated with this the past few months, picking up “old” books and reading through them to see how, or if, our ideas have changed or “evolved.”

Cleaning out my office before I left my last job I sifted through all of the articles I had saved, the notes from various fundraising conferences and trainings I’d attended over the years.

Of course I also had that ever-present stack of more recent, unread pubs and had to sort through that as well. The comparison of these – the incoming information with the saved information – produced one of those “aha moments.”

Reading through my old notes I could see that it was all there – all that I needed to know the very first time I heard it or read it.

But I needed the repetition, to take what I was learning into my own lived experience.

Like picking up a book you’ve read before, watching a movie again or talking with a friend about a subject you’ve previously hashed out and in this re-visiting, seeing or understanding something that you missed the first time (or the second time, or the third time, etc.)

What has changed? Something in you. Your perspective has shifted.

That is what matters. The movement inside yourself.

It doesn’t matter what someone else said or did or when they said it or did it (e.g., can you love your neighbor?)

Where are you now? What are you learning now?

Keep repeating, keep going until you don’t need to anymore. Until you’ve absorbed what you need to absorb and learned what you need to learn.

“Live your way into the answer.” (Rilke)

Do you need to control what happens?

March 30th, 2009  |  Published in Know Abundance, Self Care, Time Management
by Lanell Dike

handwithcards

Happy Monday!

There is another guaranteed way to discover abundance in time: let go of trying to control what happens.

This is a hard one because our daily lives center around creating order to reach goals and to manage and respond to what is happening with our selves (body, mind, emotions), with each other (same list) and in our environments (natural, social, work, economic.)

Control is a tool that has served us our whole lives:

  • Control is how we face the unknown.
  • Control gives us a sense of security and assures us that we are in charge of everything that it is possible to be in charge of.
  • Control is power to make things happen.
  • Control is a way to get people to do what we want.
  • Control helps us eliminate undesirable factors and predict and prepare for the future.
  • Control enables us to manage what is happening – so that things don’t get out of control.

Control is such a useful behavior, why would we want to let go of it?

Because contrary to our belief – control actually limits our ability to freely live our lives, to creatively respond to what is happening and to relax, to be stress free, to know abundance in time. Read more…

Time in Perspective

March 16th, 2009  |  Published in Self Care, Time Management
by Lanell Dike

Fishermen-in-chile

Happy Monday!

What’s on your schedule this week?

Does it matter, with everything that needs to get done, that time as we know it and live it is only a mental construction?

Sure, some say that time doesn’t actually “exist” but the social and economic fabric of our global society (and all of our technology) runs on our collectively built and individually maintained concept of Time.

With our calendars and clocks, our PDAs and watches – our appointments, deadlines and responsibilities – of course time exists. Because we created it, and live our lives by it, time exists for us.

The clock helps regulate each hour of the day so we can plan our lives. Read more…

Take a Break

February 16th, 2009  |  Published in Self Care, Time Management
by Lanell Dike

oceanbelow

Happy Monday!

Today is a holiday in the U.S. Are you working? How often do you work on your holidays, your vacations, and your weekends?

Are you always working? Why? What’s so important?

We all know from experience that the to-do list never really ends: one thing is crossed off and another fills the space.

Repeat.

One thing is crossed off and another fills the space. Repeat.

So we live, day by day.

Yet, somehow, even as we replicate this pattern over and over, we believe that we will come to the end of our to-do list and then we’ll rest. Then we will have time for whatever it is we are putting off until we have time for it.

Are we there yet?

We also have the tendency to think that we are the center of the universe. Have you noticed that? How important we think we are to whatever is happening or to whatever we think needs to happen?

We can’t take a break right now because then, whatever we think needs to happen won’t happen, and it needs to happen and we need to make it happen. Suddenly everything relies on our action, on our doing. The world needs us.

So the story in our mind goes.

Our thinking can get a bit delusional at times with the sense of our own importance. Reality checks are necessary.

Take a reality check break today. You already know your list isn’t going anywhere, so Relax. Turn off your computer and go outside into the world. Look around.

See how much is happening without any effort at all on your part.

Pause. Notice something that you have never noticed before. Talk to someone you have never talked to before. Listen to what they have to say.

Watch the sunset and stare up at the night sky. See the billions of stars and galaxies stretching into the unknown. Remember how small you and your thoughts and your to-do lists are in the universe of all that is.

Laugh at the absurdity of your own sense of importance. Repeat.

Know Abundance

January 5th, 2009  |  Published in Economy, Fundraising Strategies, Know Abundance, Money, Positive Thinking, Self Care, Time Management
by Lanell Dike

know-abundance

Welcome to Know Abundance!

A new positive thinking blog for fundraisers – and anyone else looking to supplant scarcity mentality with abundant living.

Delivered fresh every Monday – just when you need a dose of positivity to get your fundraising act in gear.

Know Abundance is living and working from the awareness that there is nothing you need that you don’t already have.

This blog is for you if:

• you worry about how to raise money to support your organization
• you stress about how to get everything done
• you wonder how to manage donor (and your own) fears about economy

Posted every Monday, Know Abundance is:

• fundraising from plenty and gratitude
• positive thinking to help you navigate your work week
• perspective to widen your outlook beyond daily headlines

Know Abundance is a shared journey. I, like you, am learning to live and work in new ways. To shed the thought patterns and beliefs that keep us trapped in a never-ending scramble for time, money, resources, and market share. To embrace the mantra, “Everything I need I already have.”

I know how hard you are working to bring into reality your vision of a better world. Know Abundance is for you. The weekly posts offer tools to see your worry, stress and fears in a different light, to know abundance even in the midst of scarcity.

Coming up in January:

Jan. 12 – Why think positive?

Jan. 19 – Live Your Dreams Today

Jan. 26 – Scarcity as Reality is Relative

I welcome your comments, questions and participation as we learn together.


© 2012 knowabundance.com
Powered by WordPress.